March 2012
wake up: exhausted
12 pm: exhausted
3 pm: fucking exhausted
5 pm: really fucking exhausted
7 pm: about to pass out
bed time: the energy of 5 million condensed suns
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
: 10 minutes go by
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 10 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
Anonymous asked: COREEEEEEEEYYYY!!!
February 2012
4 tags
poooooop nobody's awake
Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow looks to the other and asks, “Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease epidemic?”
The second cow replies, “Why should I care? I’m a helicopter.”
Me when I go out: I should've stayed home
Me when I stay home: I should've gone out
4 tags
Anonymous asked: "Watch me put my hands on over these bunsen burners!" Tom said offhandedly as he spotted a hippo. "What an ugly hippo." Tom yelled hypocritically.
Anonymous asked: "WE'RE RICH!" Angus exclaimed poorly.
1 tag
Anonymous asked: "We all have five senses." She said senselessly.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: "Oh, I love camping." He said intensely.
xvxavier:
If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.
